A Taste of Scottland
 

I have been here for a little while and thought I'd start my own thread as an introduction ....... given there is no option to expand your profile here ...

This is very serious ...... Please don't laugh at me ....
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I have been described as a cross between John Merrick and Bella Emberg ..... My ma says she still loves me but prefers I stay in the garage and don't leave the house in daylight .... Bless her, she is always looking out for me.

I fondly remember when my mummy used to tuck me in at nights .......
She always wanted a girl.

All of my pics have been touched up to hide my wooden leg and glass eye ......

But please, if you can get past the stench of pee,the acne and the melted bits of plastic surgery I have a wonderful personality that is if you like a narky, old bitch on her period ........

I am pierced in my left knee, my right shoulder and third nipple.

I am considering getting a tattoo but I don't think there is space for a big pipe band in my bedroom ....

I don't drink. I am drip fed.

I am addicted to worming tablets, talcum powder and chocolate Santas.

I am 35 .......... 5'5" without my wooden leg and clogs.

I like big macs, snow ploughs and feeding chickens in the zoo.

Romance is high on my agenda ..... I love to watch big brother, Bird watch with Bill Oddie and have candlelit dinners in the local dogging spots.

One can of Shandy and I am anyones.

Things that make me wet : Rain, showers and my bad BO.

Things that make me hard: My tough upbringing in the Ned gangs when I was at school, My period and Rigormortis.

Things that I enjoy: Daniel O donnell, Quincy, The Colby's, plucking out my ingrowing hairs, cheap cider and when the wind blows in the opposite direction.

Things I hate: people with two legs, Double D egg cups and waking up.

Things Under my bed: Worms, prosthetic limbs and usually my glass eye as it rolls out when I sleep.

Things that I fear: Radiators, pink Y-Fronts and single socks.

I am very musical I play the one armed banjo, the recorder and I adore the singing kettle.

I play lots of sport. Tiddlywinks, crazy golf and wanking to opera music are my favourites.

I like fashion too ..... I knit my own leggings, I like to wear luminous socks and jesus sandals, weather permitting.

I don't know what sex is but I have heard it's bad so I am afraid to discuss the subject in case I am sent to hell ...... I pass through Dundee sometimes but I don't want to live there.

I like people with a good sense of humour as they can laugh with me at my lopsided ears, my squint buttocks and having one hand twice the size of the other.

I like ballet, burping and pork scratchings.

I have a pet potatoe that can dance to Bee Gee music.

I like men with ZZ top beards. If you can't tuck it in your socks I am not interested. I like my women the same, especially the ginger ones.

I am a born again virgin ..... but I continually get res-erected.

Thanks for listening I am Kirsty Scott .. must go change my colostomy bag, it just doesn't match my shoes anymore.

Kirsty
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I hope to update this thread over time (If anyone wants me to) to show a sample of what is on my own website ..... and I invite anyone who has no life or still lives with their mum and dad to join my yahoo group too ....

Please say hello ..... even my imaginary friends are fed up of me now ....

Kirsty
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Kirsty
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Last batch for now ....

Please feel free to ask any questions here ..... or just completely ignore me and go back to American Idol ....

Kirsty
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I must say, you hide the peg leg very well. Barely noticeable.

Lurvly pics. ;)

a lass with a knee piercing is always fashionable in any setting.in fact that alone has likekly sprung more that one beard free of it's stockings!

I've got to remember to not drink anything when I read your posts. I had a mouthful of brandy when I read the above statement and now I have to clean my computer screen and keyboard. :lol:

I think you should add "piercing eyes" to your list. I mean, jeez, just look at that avatar.


Watch out with that last one. If you don't use enough lotion, you're liable to get Maria Callas-ed hands.

Wow. You are absolutely beautiful Kirsty. Welcome, and thanks for posting the pics.

wood
 

kristy, you give me a wooden leg:turnon:

Pardon me whilst I chortle.

I hope you continue to update this thread Kirsty. Besides the wonderful pictures, you can also showcase your excellent wit.:respect::)

Please keep it up.;):cool::)

Hi Kirst, I think I saw you in London not too long ago!

Hi Elliot,

No I am sorry it was not me ....

It must have been some other funny looking tramp ....

Kirsty
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Yeah, Yeah .... Brandy is it? ;)

Is that what you tell the Landlady?

Kirsty
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Thank you everyone ....

I have already stated I like this place and this just re-affirms that.

:inlove:

Kirsty
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At last!.......... I'm laughing out aloud . thks Kirsty :hug:

I love your hair it flows beautifully.Wooden leg Lol Your funny too I like that. I never thought of Scotland as a sexy place-too cold up there and I doubt that you can get a suntan on the rooftop of your house much less a nude beach....

Thank You .... I think my hair flows beautifully over my palms and the soles of me feet too. It is nice of you to notice .... bless you!

Why would I want a suntan .... ? My skin has a natural blueish complexion ... rather like a smurf ....

Kirsty
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super hot. i love the pic of you on the bed with your cock pointing to the ceiling

Such beauty and humor! Awesome.

Smurfette? Is that you?!?!:eek:;)

I don't have a landlady. I own my house (actually the bank owns it and they are letting me live here while they get their several pounds of flesh from me).

you are absolutely stunning.

Shall we call you Shylock now?;)

The bank would be Shylock, not ila.

I could never be Shylock and I don't like the name Antonio. Come to think of it, I've never defaulted on a loan. I'd also never live in Venice. I guess you'll just have to keep calling me ila.;):lol:

My point, precisely.

Now, since he erred, should we pick a new Shakespearean name for shadows?

Perhaps Shakespeare himself?

"To err or not to err, that is the question.";)

I have a question for you Kirsty. Is all of Scotland as good as Scottland? If so I will have to visit.

,,, or something like that,,,
 

maybe try a 'be' in place of that 'err',,,,,lol

The mistake was intentional.;):)

Good ..... Good?

Don't call me good ......

I'm the naughtiest little slut when it comes to wood ..... ;)

Kirsty
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Now now gentlemen .....

I don't mind if you all shake your speares in my general direction ....

After all ....

"Asses are made to bear, and so am I ....."
Taming of the shrew (slightly amended)

Kirsty
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Hey Kirsty
 

I'm from Glasgow, hence the obscure username.

Just wanted to say that is some top top banter :respect:

You are absolutely gorgeous as well btw

Careful my bonny lass, but my spear is quite sharp(a shame I can't say the same of my wit;):lol:).:innocent:

Foosyerdoos Kirsty? :heart:

Aye weel I'm nae bad .....

Fit like yersel wee man?

I trust yer

Pure dead brilliant, no butt ......


Kirsty
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That banner is really nicely done, Kirsty. I particularly like the part where it looks like you have flaming hair. Whoever created it did a good job.:respect:

Why thank you Shadows kind sir ......

I did it myself ...... I have been messing about with paint for a week now and set myself a little project .....

What do you think of this one ?

Kirsty
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You are the type of bunny that I would like to catch in my snare.

That's a great one, too. It makes me have something stick up like those bunny ears, only much less hairy. ;)

You are quite welcome Kirsty.:) Not only are you beautiful, but you have a great amount of artistic talent too.:respect:

The latest banner is really nicely done! The ripple effects from the left and right pictures reminds me of either the wormhole from Sliders or the wormhole from Stargate. A really cool effect!:respect::cool::)

Thanks Guys ......

I've only been using this thing for a week now ...... so there you go anyone can do it if they want to put their minds to it .....

Here's tonights effort .....

Kirsty
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I like the highlights. You had quite the spark of creation.

(just to prove that I am not mindlessly butt-kissing...much;))

I like this one as well Kirsty, but I find the three spots of white glimmering spots on the right hand side to be a little distracting. I really like the blending of colours on the left side, and how the lettering meshes into it. I also like the pretty girl who is sitting on the chair.;)

I agree almost exactly with shadows' artistic assessment. Oh, and by the way, he is mindlessly butt-kissing. :lol:

Some butts really are worth kissing and I would say Kirsty's is right at the top of the list (and yes this is butt kissing on my part, albeit and sadly electronically only).