Some scary facts
 

http://www.liminalis.de/project.html

"Every 3rd day the murder of a trans person is reported - Preliminary results of a new Trans Murder Monitoring Project show more than 200 reported cases of murdered trans people from January 2008 to June 2009"

These are just the ones reported and in many cases trans woman = "man in a dress" as far as the authorities and media go. From the reports:

Over 60% of reported murders are by current or former intimate partners

Most murders happened at close range and often targeted the genitalia of the victim

Brazil - hotbed of Shemale porn is the trans murder capital of the world.

Given the small number of trans women in the world this is sobering.

:hug:Hey, welcome back Bionca.
Ya, and my favorite is when the press and/or the authorities blame the victum for "deceiving" her attacker.

That's why I'm a gun packin' TV;)

Welcome back Ms. B!! :)

I alway love the mentality of those who think anyone differnt from them should be done away with and because i'm not like them it's ok to beat the daylights out of me, I always want to ask them who made them god and give them the right to decide who's normal and who ain't :( Jerseygirl Jen

It's scary
 

that so many were ex lovers. It's bad that it's probably the 'cowards who date' Tgirls who are hurting and killing so many of these beautiful, courageous people.

I don't want to beautify anything, but:
approximately 500.000 people are murderd in a year. That make more than 4106 people all 3 days. And a study from the USA says that trans persons are in 1:200 to 1:2500 cases (in USA).
That mean in the 1:2500 case Trans people are murderd twice as often as other people, and in the 1:200 case 20 times less then other people.
And if you count CD's, that happend 1:20 to 1:50, that makes this statistic look better (if someone could say better as long as so many murder happen:no:).

it would be hard for me to believe that no matte what the gender is.....the murders are something of a random nature.

I don't believe that TV/TS's are being singled out more than gays. I truly believe that it has more to do with drugs and other things, than gender.

A.

Murder Sucks
 

That's all I have to say

And this sort of thing is why I wish this country had a death penalty...

Great
 

''AWESOME'' TSLUST I really love your attitude.
I fully support handgun carry. (except of course for known felons regardless of offense.) And Ms B gives excellent reason. Despite the major media's claim of more harm than good, facts prove that a handgun carried by responsible people helps saves lives and injuries. But trying to get the facts untainted from the media needs a clear,logical and free thinking mind.
I applaude you for your level minded reasoning and sound judgement, (but I hope your carrying legally). Ditto to welcoming Ms B back.

:respect: :respect: :respect: :respect: :respect: :respect: :respect:

Hard to believe or not, just reading the list from the site I linked would likely show otherwise.

Samantha Brandau - Gang raped and stabbed
Angie Zapata - Beaten by her date with a fire extinguisher
Ruby Molina - found nude in a river
Kellie Telesford strangled and robbed by a date
Ali and 2 others in Iraq executed by the government for being Trans
on and on...

Recently, in Russia a man shot his pot-op fiance to death because of the apparent shame he would face by having a trans wife.

I know a number of trans women and all but one of us has been beaten and/or raped by men we were dating or in the cases of sex workers, clients. Given this sample, I'm not surprised at the findings. I wish I wasn't.

I'm not actually back, I took a gander at some other threads and the reasons I left are still very much part of the "friendly atmosphere".

Ya, I've got my permit. The first few times I carried it, I was very self-conscious. I'd check every few steps to make sure that it didn't show. But now, I just don't even think about it.

I just hope that you have spent an amount of time firing your weapon, and are at ease with it.

Any licensed agency will help you.

I have carried legally concealed weapons..... normally 357 magnums..... for years.

And.........I'm just a guy!!

A.

Miss Bionca
 

BIONCA:

I love your spunk, and not the wet kind. You want a humane world, which is being ahead of your time. It took Jesus Christ to go from a barbarian world to a civilized world, and it will take a major event to go from a civilized world to a humane one. You, like me, live in a country where you have those who are open to other points of view, because they understand that no matter how smart they are there is so much they don't know. Then, there are those who have all the answers, and need not listen to those of another opinion. I won't label them, but if you notice they seem to have similar characteristics.


PM me on the friendly situation that troubles you, because being a t-girl exposes you to something that others don't see. YOU have had a major impact on this site, and if you go the many won't understand reality from fantasy. Sometimes, you're even sexy. Like it or not, you are the t-girl that the other t-girls look up to. You are the one with the balls! You will fall many more times, and get up just as often.

PM me on what troubles you, as I didn't get what the hint was. I can only guess, but without certainty.


Piece,


TAL

Ya, I go to the range fairly often.

That's horrible.

Something should be done about this... but I'd have no idea where to start :no:

be careful people .... a lot of crazies out there !

Thanks for the link, Bionca.

Cham

Thanks for shedding more light on this subject Bionca. It's sad that someone of a different persuasion (and one that I'm very fond of) has to face the risks.

A.

Tal,

It's not a big deal why I'm not really participating here much. The all to frequent mis-gendering of trans women, being described as a "fetish" (sexual attraction to objects or body parts not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature), and the ever popular "real woman" comments.

Having to have these conversation in, you know, my day-to-day life makes having these conversations here tiring and frustrating. The fact that these comments and attitudes are nearly always confronted by myself or one of the other gals with very little support from the guys makes me wonder why I spend time here.

I initially wanted to give a non-sex working TGs perspective on relationships, sex, and living. To give humanity to the images. However, I'm not really feeling that many guys actually WANT to "get it". I used to come here and joke around, flirt, and make some corrections where folks had some facts or opinions that I thought should be clarified.

Lately, I read comments and wonder what guys honestly think about trans women. I wonder how the attitudes expressed here were shared by the folks in the link I gave above. If I'm not "real" enough, if I'm an OBJECT that has been sexualized, if I am a dirty secret - to guys who have the awareness to share their desires for trans women (even if on the Internet) - what hope is there in my world where I walk and no person knows I'm a Trans woman.

If I have to defend my right to self-identification, or my claim to be who I know I am, or to even claim status as a person who CAN be "sexual in nature". If I need to have this conversation alone (at least it feels like it) time after time in a place that should feel safe(er) what's the point?

unfourtunatly that wouldn't solve anything. having a death penalty would be the worst thing for britain. we got rid of it for a reason. giving people the death penalty only perpetuates the problem because even if the one that killed a loved one or in this case a transgender people is sentanced for death 1. it wouldn't bring the victims back and 2. even when the murderer is killed you'd still hve that feeling of hate and carry around this grudge and loathing. the reason why we got rid of the death penalty in britain was because it doesn't get us anywhere.

Thanks for this Bionca! It's good to get some perspective.

Hi there.

Bionca, i went to that "Blog" link, i live in Canada, I never saw any coverage of the event you speak about, but you seem to like to over-generalise, also interfering in a man & woman heated of even violent encounter is usually not a good idea, often you end up having them both on your ass, so that may be why no one has done anything.

Also, playing the "I would have done this or i would have done that" game is all fine and all but in your would have's you never consider that you could get hurt, so if you're not in that situation, you don't know how it is.

As an example, one of my ex-neighbours, intimidated one of my older neighbours, i got in his face for a good 10 minutes (in the dark) explaining the error of his ways, towards the end of the 10 minutes he opened the door to the outside to show me that he was only there with his g/f and if he did intimidate the older woman it was unintentionnal, so i told him that if i got the wrong guy to have a good day.

Two days later i see him since we live across the hall diagonally from eachother, and i say that was you downstairs?

He looks at me and sais: oh that was you! The way he said it i knew he meant why was i affraid of this guy.

I keft my keys in the door and walked up to him saying: So you think you can take me? Suddenly he wasn't so defiant anymore, then i said: yeah... Well i don't care! and turned my back to him and went in my apt. we both knew who won that round.

The next morning, i saw him talking about what had happened, his freind said:
I would have kicked his ass.

Right then i came up to them and said Hi How the F are ya, and beeing a bit rude, guess what he was as agressive as puppy, he didn't do what he said he'd do did he?

No, cause in his "i would have" the possibility of him getting hurt was inexistant but when he was in the heat of the situation there was a possibility that he could get hurt, and that made him back down.

So that's what it means to "walk a mile in my shoes" so don't be so harsh judging people you probably would have done the same thing everybody else did.

JohnDowe.

I'm curious what parts of my blog you find objectionable.

Here is a mental exercise. You are walking with a trans woman on a date. Someone notices something about her and makes a scene with his friends on the street. Things look potentially violent. What do you do?

What if you run into a friend who "warns" you with a mocking grin that your date is "really a man"?

Hi there.

This was about "The cowards we date" and i didn't say objectionable, i mean you were a bit harsh and quick to judge, and if you're not in the heat of the moment with all the emotions that it generates, you usually only get a partial view of the event.

Since the age of 16, i haven't taken any shit from anybody, not my bosses, not my co workers, not my freinds, not my girlfreinds, not my parents.

The only one that i let give me shit once, was my mom and she did paid for it and she did appologise, i only appologised 5 years later, and she did admit that she was wrong.

So if someone were to challenge me, i would do what i did many times in the past, i would try to defuse the situation, but not in a weak way, and if push comes to shove then let's fight.

About the "freind" warning me about my tg date.

Well, never been in that situation, i like to think i would handle the situation as i always do, not taking shit, but if he was my friend he wouldn't disrespect me by mockingly pointing out that fact, and if he was only an acquintance i'd do what i said previously.

JohnDowe.

I have been dating guys for quite some time, so my judgment is anything but "quick" - harsh, probably. Quick or without reason not even close.

I don't want to come across as particularly angry or sulky, so I won't go into details. The thing is, I have found that when things get tough, guys turn tail and run away. Guys lie about us to coworkers, deny knowing us, pretend not to know us if we get clocked. They seem to be more interested in protecting their image or standing, even among strangers than supporting or respecting their TG companion.

I can't count the number of guys who honestly used "dirty secret" or something close when talking about me or my friends. Secrets and shame make men cowards. If you visit some of the LadyBoy forums, the guys who go to Thailand call the walk from the bar to the hotel "the Walk of Shame" and give each other advice on hotels with side doors so their LB can sneak into the room and they won't be embarrassed at the from desk.

Read this:
http://www.xbiz.com/articles/99429/transsexual

The guy who started Grooby, and is probably more familiar with guy who are into TGs, talks about "admirers". It's not a very flattering picture he paints, but in my observations he isn't far off, and his description probably won't bother the majority of guys here.

SRS objection
 

Are you accusing the medical dept. and the Govt along with it, of forcing the onerous fiscal burden of SRS upon the Tgirls? After all its not a passing fashion trend to alter the genital organs!! It's sort of a legal passport for acknowledgment as a female*. Only the Govt. policy-makers have the power to set it down as the Law.


Whats up with your ultra aggressive mood, Miss B? You sound so pissed off these days!

Hi there.

Bionca, this isn't a perfet world, most people are weak, you seem not to be, since i don't know you that's all i can say, if you date a weak person and you know it, i would hope you wouldn't expect him to be a tower of strength when push comes to shove, your boyfreind and all others who like shemales but don't speak up for you, usually don't even speak up for themselves, how can you expect them to speak up for you? They are afraid of life, they are afraid of not fitting in, they embrace the status quo, because they are afraid of change, as i think about this, i'm begining to think you were right and i was wrong, anyway there are alot more follower than leaders, and there is stigma to being labeled gay, as in gay bashing, a little undesrtanding can go a long way in resolving problems.

Also ask your brothers, they should be able to confirm this, most guys don't know how to fight, and because of that, avoid confrontations, better be a live coward than a dead hero, but what they don't realise is that if they were to stand up for themselves one in a while they wouldn't become dead heroes, but maby they would gain a little respect for themdelves and maby a bit of self respect? And even if they get beat up, at least they would have stood up for something, but as in pretty much everything the first time is usually the hardest.

In conclusion, i think we were both a bit harsh, you in judging those who didn't stand-up for you and other t-girls and me for reacting to your harshness, but you could stand to chill out a bit.

JohnDowe.

1) I'm stating that lots of medical "experts" have a financial investment in SRS. To the point where if a trans women isn't expressing an undying desire to go that route, they often will deny treatment all together. They are also in a position where a note from them is required by the government or insurance and credit card industries to modify any gender markers.

2) The government has set up a system where official documentation is hinged on completing SRS. This is an expensive surgery thta is not covered by insurance in the US. With conflicting documentation, getting a job to pay for the surgery is pretty difficult, so lots of women who need to go that route are in a position where their means are limited and legal/mainstream employment is denied them.

It should be noted that the last post on my blog was written some time after I attended the Transgender Day of Remembrance, where people get together and read the names of trans women who were murdered the previous year and mourn their passing as well as the women who went unreported.

There were probably 200 people in the church where this was held. This was attended by mostly trans women. In addition to the trans women, in attendance were a number of trans lesbians with their GG partners, a couple guys from the local GLBT groups, the minister of the church, some young men and women probably from the university who had to be there for a class, and a fair representation of trans men. NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON who I could identify as a male partner of a trans women was there - zero. This is pretty much the same as when I lived in Chicago. The guys don't show up and it made me angry.

One should expect the person they are dating to respect them enough to defend them, atleast verbally. I'm not expecting someone to take a bullet for me, I do expect that they won't lie about knowing me.

I absolutely understand that there is a stigma attached to being thought of as gay. To the general population, I'm super-ultra-gay. Also, I lived through that part - what else were the boys in school to think of me growing up? So that fear, that stigma is something every trans woman deals with or has has had to deal with. We just don't have the option to deny knowing us, or run back to our wife/gf/friends if things get heavy.

As far as the talk of violence, it isn't guys who date trans women getting beaten and murdered. It's the trans women. It isn't guys who date trans women who have a 70% rate of being sexually assaulted. Forgive me if I find it difficult to feel sympathy for shame that obviously must come from dating me after I mourned the loss of so many women - women who could have just as easily been me. Forgive me if I can't relate to the pain of men who may have to disclose their means of income who can't put up a notice on their porn site for one day out of a year. Forgive me if I can't help but notice that this same shame and pain is not shared by many of the women who date gals like me.

Hi there.

I didn't say you should (over) sympathise, i said understanding, and be a bit less harsh.

And i notice that we ARE off subject, someone will be giving us a warning, so if you want to continue this conversation start a new thread.

JohnDowe.

Hi there.

It's me again!!!

Hey Bionca, it seems to me that you want to accomplish something, right?


Waiting for you to reply!

JohnDowe.

Not trying to be mean but damn, that's a horribly stupid excuse for not having the death penalty. I would have accepted "everyone has the right to life" as a better reason. But LOL, you chose "because it doesn't make the suffering go away". In America, we kill the worst of the worst, 1) To get rid of these horrible people who have committed astrocities 2) our tax dollars aren't funding their life imprisonment, why keep these scum alive? Just kill them, save money, save time. But the UK apparently doesn't even have life imprisonment much less the death penalty (ie: Lockerbie Bomber). I guess in England you can blow up a 747 and get out in a couple years. Nice country you have there. Imagine the U.S. having laws like that. Crime would be so rampant and out of control, especially hate crimes, gang crimes, gun crimes and terrorism that the country would degrade into a civil war. The death penalty and strict punishment keeps criminals in line. If anything we need to make punishments stricter.

We're all at risk every day, even in the so called safe countries where I live. I use a train station daily where I don't feel too comfortable, so I stick with the crowd as much as I can. I feel only admiration for trans people and others who don't shy away from living their lives as it suits them, despite the risks. Femboys for example must live a hell of a life of teasing and abuse at times, and in many cities must be at risk, yet they have courage. I saw a very attractive faufaufina (polynesian femboy) on the train recently. In fact I couldn't take my eyes off him, and he was giving me coy little glances back. I couldn't help but admire him for being able to be himself totally in such a public place. This may sound like drivel, but its how I feel, as one who would not have such courage.:respect:

One of the main reason the UK got rid of the death penalty was because of frequent miscarriages of justice where a number of innocent people were hung for murders it later turned out they'd had nothing to do with. The case of the Lockerbie Bomber may well turn out to be another miscariage of justice. When the whole prosecution case basically rests on the fact that a man very similar to him bought a pair of trousers in Malta that look quite similar to a pair that may have been in the case with the bomb - and a shopkeeper picks him out of an identity parade nearly a decade later (a shopkeeper who was also allegedly paid off by US intelligence and retired to Australia on the proceeds) it's probably understandable that the authorities were happy for the Scottish goverment to quietly release him on 'compassionate grounds' rather than have egg on their faces when his appeal proved he was most likely innocent.

There's over 60 million people in the UK, and we haven't degraded into civil war yet either - but then we don't hand out firearms to everybody who asks for them either...

Couldn't have said it better myself, Natalie!:respect:

Diana

Lately the tone has changed here - and even among a particular group of trans*women there now seems to be an acceptance of fetish, castration and porn-selling as the comme-il-faute - as the modus operandum that is to be accepted as completely ok... I can promise you that I've made some real enemies here over the last weeks simply because I don't buy into all that trans*minimalizing crap.

And when the trans*women themselves start to attack me for what I consider quite reasonable and learned approaches to what a social approach to transsexuality should be, then I too wonder what I'm doing here.

The mix of ppl is changing here - less educated and more militant folks with particular agendas are entering, apparently. Unfortunately I've not from a single one of them met any opinions that I could relate to as particularily trans*realistic.

So maybe it's time to "pull our pants up" (no pun intended) and in my case to stop worrying so much what's going on at a particular forum that's clearly changing focus and habitus and in stead move back into the real life which in my case is luckily and abundantly peopled by the most amazing trans*women in the world.

Our "ancient" views are hardly gonna be missed here any more... ;-)

H

Transsexuality
 

I would like to wade into the ongoing controversy here. There are too many points raised to address each one individually so I'll reply generally.

First I would like to say that Bionca doesn't despise or hate all men. Anyone who gets to know Bionca will know that she has a very good relationship with men. A reading of her posts and her blog shows that she is consistent in what she says. Bionca has said that she does not like the cowards who date transwoman and then deny that they know the woman, will not defend them, are afraid to be seen with them, and assault the women that they say they care about. Bionca has every right to feel this way about cowards.

As men we cannot even come close to understanding what transwomen go through every minute of every day. We should show more sensitivity and understanding. And most of all it's time we stood up for transwomen each and every day.

I have great respect for every transwoman. Surely the men on this site can help in every little way possible. Start by acknowledging Transgender Day of Remembrance. Stand up for transwomen every time you hear derogatory comments about them (I do now and I'm happy to do so). Talk about trans issues when you can (I do that too). You will be surprised how much your friends and co-workers are willing to listen.

Yes I do. Many things actually. In this case specifically, provide perspective and education as well as a handy resource.

Hank :hug:

Not sure what to say. I think your participation is quite valuable and you have a perspective that is lacking on many sites where guys like you talk about gals like me.

Hi there.

In order to accomplish accomplish something you have to do something, you seem to be a strong person, morally and intellectually, although a bit rash at times, which isn't alwasy a bad thing.

Did you see the movie "Milk", (i haven't) but i hear the main character was a young gay man who wanted gays to be recognized as a minority, he started his political career in his late twenties, and got elected in his late forties, it took him 20 years to get to the point where he could do something, he was of the ultra gay type, and still he overcame and won in the end, he didn't quit when the going got a little rough, he took his lumps and persevered, quitter do not accomplish anything.

So Bionca, ARE YOU A QUITTER?

So you have to repeat youself over and over, big deal a waist of a bit of spit, or a few keystrokes on your keyboard, if that little effort is too much for you then by all means quit, you don't have the guts to even try to change the situation even here where averybody is pro tg in a porn type of view, but still pro tg.

But i don't think you are that weak, you may be facing some personnal problems, but then who doesn't, the Bionca i have read so far is far more of a fighter than a quitter, she speaks her mind, so where is that Bionca that i have come to "know" and respect? Even if i don't always agree with her views.

Before i read your post in my "Post op reason" thread i was a bit more ignorant about trans related problems, you showed me a side i had never tought of or imagined, ok i did start that thread to learn more about t-girls and i did, i had an open mind, but others read your ansewer and the other's and some don't objectify tg as much, it may not be that much, but it IS something, a start, a small step, but then, even the longest trip starts with one step.

It is your choice to quit or not to quit, but i don't think you should.

If you choose to stick around, remember that you do attract more flies with honey than vinegar.

JohnDowe.

Funny you should mention Harvy Milk - you know he was assassinated by a hetero guy who didn't really do the time for it? I understand what you are saying, and I appreciate the sentiment. I just don't want to be a martyr or another statistic on that link I posted.

As far as fighting/standing up for myself. I did that, I do that, and I am happy to educate folks in my daily face-to-face life. I expect a level of confusion and uninformed comments from most people. However, I have higher expectations for guys who *claim* to respect/fuck/lust over/desire/whatever trans women. Having to educate guys on why "real woman" is problematic *HERE* is itself a problem. Having to be the one to point that out is a problem - when there are way more guys who know better here than there are trans women willing to address that.

This is a problem because it ALWAYS opens up conversation where I am put in a position to justify my identity and my experience and my understanding vs. someones memory of High School Biology class. That is not fun for me, that is not comfortable, and that does little to convince me that I'm wrong in my mistrust of men who claim to like gals like me. It makes me laugh to think someone would tell a French Man what France is really like based on a school Geography project (it is really the same thing when people tell me what being Trans is, in spite of me disagreeing).

Honey and vinegar both have uses. I'm not always trying to attract files - sometimes the pesky guy needs swatted.

HI there.

Before i read your reply on the "Post Op Reason" thread i started, i was ok abou t the word "shemale" after reding it, i'm not so confortable about it, because of you, i realized that it is disrespectfull.

And i understand that most of the guys here are objectifying girls like you, but aren't guys that go to strip clubs, buy men's magazines objectifying women also? and those women and girls like you, aren't they objectifying themselves intentionally, to make a living?

The MARTHYR?

The only ones that want to be marthys are terrorists and in the end do they accomplish that, maby amongst their own, maby, but not anywhere else, also playing the victim may get some sympathy, but only for you and very little for your cause, and it IS weak, when i get in a confrontational situation, i do my best to do so form a position of strenght, cause if you start from a position of weakness, well winning is almost not an option.

When i said: "You attract more flies with honey than vinegar" i didn't mean attracting dates, i meant attracting people to your "cause", but i understand about the swatting.

Also i almost forgot that i ALMOST had a 1 night stand wit a girl like you, i had spent the evening with her, and spent quite a bit on the drinks, then at her place she wanted to charge me $50.00 to have sex with her, i didn't expect her to put out because i had spent some money on her, but if she was ok with spendong more time with me at her place, great, but i objected to paying her for sex, and the fact that i only had $30-35 left, so i left as she said that ALL the girls charged, well guess what i was put off and i never went back there.

AND when i left the club with her i went out the front door and i wasn't ashamed to be with her, and everybody that was near to the club knew that it was a tgirl club, and she was one of the nicest looking girls there.

So, the problem isn't just the guys objectifying the girls, but also the girls objectifying themselves, your goal shouldn't be to try to change the guys, but to get the message out that tgirls as other women aren't sex objects but are only human beeings that have feelings and asperations, and in order to make a living objectify themselves, and as such should not be disrespected or looked down upon.

I hope you will continue your "vigil" but i do respect the fact that it is your decision, i have said what i had to say, i will ansewer you, should you ask me something, but i will mo longer pester you about it.

JohnDowe.

Sounds like the problem is the LEOs and those carrying out the sentences than the actual method of punishment. It's like in the movies when an evil overlords lieutenant fucks up and the overlord says "this is the price for failure" and shoots a totally reliable person who had nothing to do with the situation. Instead of blaming the deterrent, there needs to be some serious rethinking going on in the justice departments.

On a completely unrelated note, Hey Natalie! What do you think of Puressence? I like that song "Walking Dead". :)

for the worst of the worst? i think fritz holds that. but i digress

you may kill the worst of the worst but we're not robots we can't turn off our emotions at the drop of a hat. if the murderer of a child gets killed for this crime do you think that the mother of the child will be all peachy after the murderer is killed? of course not, for most people the pain never goes away. i'm not saying that any justice system is better than any but all i'm trying to say is that for the most part it just doesn't work in from my POV but i guess i'm on of these idiots with a deluded outlook on life.

I'm glad you realize that "shemale" is not a generally accepted universally loved term by trans women.

I don't have any issue at all with sex work. If the women has a free choice to get into and maintain that line of work, and men are willing to pay for the products/services - everyone wins. Part of the issue is that most people ONLY know trans women from porn. Not because there aren't trans gals doing other stuff, because that isn't the case. So unlike GGs TGs are only encountered in one specific way, there is no balance to maintain realism. Part of the role trans women have to take (and many many have) is to educate - but without people willing to listen and learn no amount of education is going to work. Also, at some point the educated really must start to help do the education.

Martyrs are simply people who die for a cause who are then used at a rallying point. Mr Milk's death absolutely made him a martyr - the gay political movement was galvanized by his murder and the results of the trial. We have plenty of murdered trans women, I don't particularly need or want to fill that role.

I wasn't talking about dating with my "honey and vinegar" comment. I was talking about how I address the guys here. I'm not always going to be the voice of unquestioning support and comfort. Sometimes frustration and even anger needs to be heard before people understand that something is hurtful.

Like I said, gals making money and guys spending money isn't my issue. Assuming that women of any type who do sex work are less worthy of respect or are simply objects is a problem. A common problem, but still a problem.

Also, I'm curious what you think I have been doing if not trying to get the message out that trans women are human beings? Part of that IS changing how men see trans women - pointing out how attitudes, reflected in words, contributes to an often particularly dangerous world for trans women to navigate.