Day two
 

For several years now I have struggled with what I really am.
I cross dress Male to female, wear female clothing 100% of the time, work at home, but only once have I ventured out into the public en femme.

My inner feelings in spite of my crossdressing are for het5erosexual relations.

I have had many relationships with women, but after one marriage that ended when my wife died, vowed not to be married again.

My preference for sex is masturbation, because I find it selfish,n honest and the only way to achieve satisfaction.

Recently I have become obsessed with Trans/Ladyboys and marvel at the way some have achieved passable status as females yet remaioning very masculine in gentalia. I would never wish to take hormones or have surgery and have no desire to have a sexual relationship with a TS.

Perhaps I am unusual in this Forum, but assure members I admire those with different opinions to mine.

Today I made my second venture to a beach near to my home in 40 degree heat.

Having a snack in a beachside cafe I was joined by an elderly gentleman and we had a delightful conversation. I do not believe he saw through my deceptive appearance and treated me as a lady.

I am no beauty but chose expensive dresses and have a good sense of humour.

Two hours later I left my companion and went shopping. That is another story and one saved for another day

This time I cut the legs out of some pantyhose and that dealt with my inevitable erection during my six hour beachside experience.

Looks can be deceiving...
 

As silly and retarded as it may seem, until recently i was always annoyed by the fact that one crossdresser after another i was interested in happened to be hetero... Why, i hear you ask?? Simply because i was convinced they were doing all this (dress, make-up, heels, fake boobz, etc) to arouse the guys watching their sexy moves on whatever tube site they showed themselves at...

But apparently, many crossdressers do it just "for empowerment" and strange but true, some go as far as sayin' there's "nothing sexual in it at all" :eek: Well, it's not always easy to understand human behavior, but when i watch a video of a barely 18 femboy in tight leggings and boots shaking his cute butt in my face it is hard to believe he's not tryin' to give me a boner...

Pauladunbar; You seem familar but some CD's I have dated change their attitude about T-gurls. But it is not uncommon to dress like girls and desire to be with girls; even for T-gurls.