Penis as On/Off Switch

[morena]

I discovered that when I mastrubate and get a orgasm, I always feel very masculine ( and hetero sexual) and keep feeling that way for a while. As long as I masturbate once a day everything is fine.

But when I skip 2 days or longer I start getting that urge to become a female. I'm not talking about only dressing as one, but completely the way of walking , talking , eating , thinking everything. The feeling starts little but always increase very fast. Mostly after a day or 8 of no masturbation I completly has lost my attraction to girls and begin longing exclusively for men :S. When stimulating my prostate anally or finger my forehead like its a clitty I will also get a climax but then the feminine feeling stays. As soon I stroke my penis and get an orgasm from that ( so real jerking off) the desire vanish completely and is replace by a strange regret and thought that I failed again with controlling myself. This is when I have absolutely no desire to be a woman or even look to a man (100 % heterosexual)

The thing is I kind of like that feminine feeling ( actually much more than the masculine version of it).

Does anyone have a similar problem ? or a possible explanation for this strange ? And does anyone know how to stop this switching urges ? (femine hormones perhaps ?)


Many kisses Morena

[wxhluyp]

If the fetish goes for a long period without being fulfilled, this infrequency can make it seem more rare and exotic. You idealise it more in its infrequency and exoticity... daydreaming, fantasizing... and thus want to immerse in a more elaborate manifestation of it.

For example; when I am unable to "get off" off for a relatively long period of time, I look forward to the next time I expect to be able to. And with this time you tend to accumulate more to this eventual scenario. But when I am jerking off every day, what I jerk off to is all but improvised as there is little time after the previous session to invest in much of a scenario.

I doubt you really lose total attraction to girls. Rather the exclusive longing for men is apart of the ever elaborating scenario.

[valentinetabitha]

I have a similar problem, although mine has more to do with specifically having sex. Masterbation has little effect. Still, I think it has something to do with the amount of testosterone that floods your body during masterbation and ejaculation.

I'm curious, when you masterbate, are you looking at "straight" porn? That might have something to do with it as well. If you can masterbate and keep a more feminine mindset (ie: envisioning yourself as the receiver of a dick instead of the other way around) that may also help.

[Amy]

It's a basic problem of Autogynephilia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autogynephilia). And well documented. It's one of the factors involved in the doctors assessing you before supporting your transitioning.

[wxhluyp]

This "autogynephilia" is really interesting!

Especially this; "It has been theorized to motivate cross-dressing as a sexual fetish (transvestic fetishism) in biological males and to motivate gender dysphoria in non-homosexual biological males."

And this; "autogynephilia is not an unusual sex interest of trans women, but is a normal characteristic of female sexuality."

I've long thought of transgenderism "generally" in terms of gender dysphoria being distinct from fetishism, where there would be rare overlapping. And imagined a common potentional for a fetish to be mistaken for gender dysphoria. It must still happen, but i'm surprised by the commonality of the overlapping repoted in the article.

I think I can identify myself as an "autogynephiliac", as a coping mechanism to childhood emasculation trauma.