New Blog

[Bionca]

I have decided to retire my old blog and start a new one. Actually, I just like the way wordpress works and it is what I use at work, so it is just easier for me to manage.

I'll be moving some older content from my other blog in between new posts and updating those old posts as needed.

http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/

[The Conquistador]

Good to know! :)

[barry]

wow.....very very intimate - i peered into your life for a moment. sorry about "ma & pa" but beings as we are the same age our rents cant be that far apart and mine are oldschool to the core: they will never (nor want to) understand what youve been through. fuck em. fuck the ex too - figuratively not litterally. you dont deserve someone like that. who am i to say what you deserve....i just know a real man would be failthful - rules or not.

and by the way......youre beautiful - in every essence of the word

[johndowe]

Hi there.

I posted a reply to your "worse date ever" but failled to enter a name & email and the post was lost...

Anyway i said that i felt a bit sorry for you and even more for his g/f.

And that i had seen some clueless people in my life but this guy is (way) off the scale.

Also who is dwb?


JohnDowe.

[johndowe]

Hi there.

I read and i would have questions...


JohnDowe.

[Bionca]

Hi there.

I read and i would have questions...


JohnDowe.

What questions do you have? I'll be happy to answer

[johndowe]

What questions do you have? I'll be happy to answer

Hi there.

You fell into my trap, mua, ha, ha, ha, ha.

But seriously...

Since you are starting a new blog, why don't you also give it a new purpose and direction in addition to what you were doing before?

Like what?

Well, why don't you call out to others of the tg comunity and try to get them to unite like i stated in my "Abused women..." thread?

And try get them to be involved in the cause, take the problem to them since it IS their problem, if one of us is attacked, we all suffer, do not insite violence but sending letters to the police commisionner about police dis-respecting members of our community, and writing letters to state, and federal officials about the problem and to get them to not only aknoledge the problem but to address it, one letter will be ignored, 100 may raise an eye brow, but 1000 or more will get someone's attention, even if it very little is accomplished, it is a step in the right direction, then it may be followed by more steps, as your blog grows and gains popularity and the unity of the tg comunity reads your new blog, what do you think?

Yeah, i know, it's not guaranteed to happen, and if it does it won't happen over night, but wouldn't it be great if it did?

If you do it, it could happen, but if you don't we both know it won't happen, not from your blog anyway.

But you know that such a voice is needed, you have the blog setup already, you have the will to write it, all you need is to do it and stick to it, for yourself and all the comunity, it won't be easy, but what is in this life? And the hardest things in life are also the most rewarding, so what do you say?

Also, in the relatively short time you have been a member here, i have seen your name and statements quoted by many members, you HAVE gained the respect of most of the members of this site and myself included, you earned that respect by speaking your mind and treating everybody with respect even if you didn't agreed with their posts and opinions, if you do the same in your NEW blog you will do fine, believe me.

JohnDowe.

[Bionca]

Hey,

Actually, I do have a focus for my blog, I'm trying to merge what I see as two very different types of trans-related material. On one hand you have sites like this where guys gather and look at trans women and to varying degrees appreciate trans women (at least sexually). On the other you have very political trans-feminist blogs where issues of dating are not really discussed.

My hope is to blend the two and provide a place where trans women can discuss dating and live as trans women, and guys can learn more what is is to actually BE a trans woman.

I will be blogging on some other sites with a focus on anti-violence. I will also be providing information on my own blog on how counter violence, and why it is so hard to get the authorities to actually respond to issues of anti-trans violence.

Thanks for reading!

[Mel Asher]

Hey,

Actually, I do have a focus for my blog, I'm trying to merge what I see as two very different types of trans-related material. On one hand you have sites like this where guys gather and look at trans women and to varying degrees appreciate trans women (at least sexually). On the other you have very political trans-feminist blogs where issues of dating are not really discussed.

My hope is to blend the two and provide a place where trans women can discuss dating and live as trans women, and guys can learn more what is is to actually BE a trans woman.

I will be blogging on some other sites with a focus on anti-violence. I will also be providing information on my own blog on how counter violence, and why it is so hard to get the authorities to actually respond to issues of anti-trans violence.

Thanks for reading!

I've had a brief glance through your new Blog. I think it's a great idea. I look forward to seeing how you develop it.

Best regards
:hug:

[Bionca]

Thanks guys!

I have a new post up using commentary from here! All names have been removed to protect the..umm..innocent?? I also attributed the source as this site, but the ToS of WordPress won't let me linkback to adult content...

http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/2009/10/08/sex-and-the-single-trans-woman/

[LeeIII]

Thanks guys!

I have a new post up using commentary from here! All names have been removed to protect the..umm..innocent?? I also attributed the source as this site, but the ToS of WordPress won't let me linkback to adult content...

http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/2009/10/08/sex-and-the-single-trans-woman/

Bionca I just what to say nice blog and you are one of the nice people I have met on here. And to tell you your ex.b what a loser But I am sure you will and have done better. Take care sexy :inlove::kiss::turnon:

[johndowe]

Hey,

Actually, I do have a focus for my blog, I'm trying to merge what I see as two very different types of trans-related material. On one hand you have sites like this where guys gather and look at trans women and to varying degrees appreciate trans women (at least sexually). On the other you have very political trans-feminist blogs where issues of dating are not really discussed.

My hope is to blend the two and provide a place where trans women can discuss dating and live as trans women, and guys can learn more what is is to actually BE a trans woman.

I will be blogging on some other sites with a focus on anti-violence. I will also be providing information on my own blog on how counter violence, and why it is so hard to get the authorities to actually respond to issues of anti-trans violence.

Thanks for reading!

Hi there.

As I said before in my "battered women... " thread there is a REAL need for unity in the trans comunity and no one is addressing that, if you don't see what i mean you can ask "I'll be happy to answer".

And why do you belittle yourself with this "Just another Opinionated Tranny" title, why not state: "I am a trans woman with something to say" or something along those lines?

I don't mean to be mean but realistic and i am trying to give constructive criticism, hope you can see that.


JohnDowe.

[Bionca]

Hi there.

As I said before in my "battered women... " thread there is a REAL need for unity in the trans comunity and no one is addressing that, if you don't see what i mean you can ask "I'll be happy to answer".

And why do you belittle yourself with this "Just another Opinionated Tranny" title, why not state: "I am a trans woman with something to say" or something along those lines?

I don't mean to be mean but realistic and i am trying to give constructive criticism, hope you can see that.


JohnDowe.

I completely agree. But there are some very deep divisions and honestly, trans people come from every imaginable background and have every imaginable goal that calling for a unified trans movement would be like calling for a unified people movement. To address the point of safets - there are a number of post-op trans women who honestly feel that any violence that comes to a pre-/non- op gal is justified (at worst) or who agree that the comfort of cis women in a shelter is more important than the safety of a trans woman with a penis.

My blog title is a smallish joke. Although I am one of many trans women with an opinion on a variety of topics. I'm not an expert on anything aside from my life, so it's mostly just opinion and conclusions drawn from highly unscientific observations.

[SandraB]

I completely agree. But there are some very deep divisions and honestly, trans people come from every imaginable background and have every imaginable goal that calling for a unified trans movement would be like calling for a unified people movement. To address the point of safets - there are a number of post-op trans women who honestly feel that any violence that comes to a pre-/non- op gal is justified (at worst) or who agree that the comfort of cis women in a shelter is more important than the safety of a trans woman with a penis.

My blog title is a smallish joke. Although I am one of many trans women with an opinion on a variety of topics. I'm not an expert on anything aside from my life, so it's mostly just opinion and conclusions drawn from highly unscientific observations.

Hi all.

I think John is right, there is a need for unity and you should try to help with that by posting thing that will educate one part about an other and in the process they will get a better view of the WHOLE tg comunity.

But in the end it is YOUR blog, and YOUR choice, but you SHOULD think about it.

Sandra.

[Bionca]

Hi all.

I think John is right, there is a need for unity and you should try to help with that by posting thing that will educate one part about an other and in the process they will get a better view of the WHOLE tg comunity.

But in the end it is YOUR blog, and YOUR choice, but you SHOULD think about it.

Sandra.

That's not a bad idea, but that would require that I have an understanding of every facet of the greater community than I actually do. I can talk about the rift between pre/non- op gals and post-op gals since I'm in the thick of that. However, I don't really "get" Cross Dressers or TVs as I have never identified as either. It is important to me to provide information and opinion that does not "speak for" groups I am not a part of - too much bad information gets sread tat way and people get hurt.

I'll see what I can do though to talk about things that address more of the community.

[Bionca]

On that note.. I have a new article up. It's the 2nd of 3 (maybe 4) giving my opinions on the Seacghai interview with Meghan Chavalier:

http://tinyurl.com/ylb8m45

[rockabilly]

Nice blog Ms. B , things are good.

[BananaBanana]

i have too blog, but i cant post right now.

[johndowe]

That's not a bad idea, but that would require that I have an understanding of every facet of the greater community than I actually do. I can talk about the rift between pre/non- op gals and post-op gals since I'm in the thick of that. However, I don't really "get" Cross Dressers or TVs as I have never identified as either. It is important to me to provide information and opinion that does not "speak for" groups I am not a part of - too much bad information gets sread tat way and people get hurt.

I'll see what I can do though to talk about things that address more of the community.

Hi there.

That's what i meant, I'm glad Sandra made it clearer than i, but what i wanted you to do was to post your take on being a trans woman to try to counter point all that is seen in porn and other mis-conseptions, and to try to get tv's, those who "consume" tg porn, and those who share their lives with trans women, these 4 interweaved groups need to get togather and get some "real" info out, talk about what you know, and "invite" others to post on the behalf of the other groups.

And THANKS for the help, SANDRA.


JohnDowe.

[Bionca]

Hi there.

That's what i meant, I'm glad Sandra made it clearer than i, but what i wanted you to do was to post your take on being a trans woman to try to counter point all that is seen in porn and other mis-conseptions, and to try to get tv's, those who "consume" tg porn, and those who share their lives with trans women, these 4 interweaved groups need to get togather and get some "real" info out, talk about what you know, and "invite" others to post on the behalf of the other groups.

And THANKS for the help, SANDRA.


JohnDowe.

Well, it is an idea and one that I'm considering. I already have an online friend who will be contributing from a totally different perspective as a trans woman than I have.

I will say I have had pretty poor luck with guys actually contributing for my earlier blog. But I'm open to the idea.

[PI_Monger]

It's a very interesting and insightful blog. I'm sorry to hear about your grandma.

[Bionca]

I have a new post up that I think most trans women who date guys can relate to. Feel free to comment and stuff :)

[JonFrum]

A few years ago, I read something online written by a drag queen. She said she only had sex with gay guys, because "straight" guys who made a big deal out of wanting to have sex with her would freak - and sometimes be violent - when/after it actually happened. "Admirers" just can't be trusted, apparently.

Of course, we're talking about a lot of guys here. Big talkers on the internet, but if you put a dick in their faces, they'd panic. It happens with crossdressers all they time. They talk it up big on web sites, but when someone local asks them to hook up they suddenly can't make it. That's the difference between fantasy and reality.

TG people have to live it - rather different from fantasy. Good luck next time.

[Bionca]

A few years ago, I read something online written by a drag queen. She said she only had sex with gay guys, because "straight" guys who made a big deal out of wanting to have sex with her would freak - and sometimes be violent - when/after it actually happened. "Admirers" just can't be trusted, apparently.

Of course, we're talking about a lot of guys here. Big talkers on the internet, but if you put a dick in their faces, they'd panic. It happens with crossdressers all they time. They talk it up big on web sites, but when someone local asks them to hook up they suddenly can't make it. That's the difference between fantasy and reality.

TG people have to live it - rather different from fantasy. Good luck next time.

Yeah, it is a fantasy/reality thing. I wasn't relating a specific new experience, but rather the distillation of many many experiences and stories from a wide variety of friends.

[The Conquistador]

Nice post Ms. B! If people aren't fully comfortable with every aspect transwomen, they have no business "experimenting" or any of that crap. It's such a shame that you are subjected to such things.

[Bionca]

Nice post Ms. B! If people aren't fully comfortable with every aspect transwomen, they have no business "experimenting" or any of that crap. It's such a shame that you are subjected to such things.

I don't think most guys do it intentionally... doesn't change much, except to make it less likely to anticipate.

[LeeIII]

Ms.B nice post just wanted to add this then there are guys like me out there who truly are very open mined and would love to be with someone like you put it my face and I am yours to do what you want with:D:inlove:

[Bionca]

I'm a little cranky in this post, but it's new. The final installment of the Grooby Interview. http://tinyurl.com/ylb372b.


You know, you guys are welcome to comment on the blog... I'm sure I do and will make some messed up assumptions about guys and I'm very open to being corrected.

[aw9725]

Re: His "Advice"

I can’t believe he would have said something like that (well unfortunately maybe I can…) essentially “blaming the victim.” Very sad…

Thanks for sharing your blog, Bionca. I'm sorry you've had to put up with so much crap--you seem like a really cool person! :respect:

[JonFrum]

The Grooby dude seems like a self-serving fathead.

Then again, the bar isn't set very high for professional pornographers.

[Bionca]

Most people are pretty self-serving really. I think that he's a businessman who keeps an eye on the bottom line, but isn't about exploiting the community. I have issues with specific things he has said, but in all I don't think he's a bad guy. I leave that to the many many other doodz making trans porn.

The fact he sat for an interview on a site that probably wasn't going to increase his revenue is kinda a big deal all things considered. I haven't seen the LB69 guys do that or the Black Ops doods or the guys who have a Shemale site connected to a mainstream site.

[Bionca]

Re: His "Advice"

I can’t believe he would have said something like that (well unfortunately maybe I can…) essentially “blaming the victim.” Very sad…

Thanks for sharing your blog, Bionca. I'm sorry you've had to put up with so much crap--you seem like a really cool person! :respect:

He's by no means the only one to offer that sagely wisdom. Pretty much it goes like this:

TG gets beaten/murdered
Murder is reported
Report gets discussion about how TGs should stop tricking men
Discussion eventually becomes "I feel sorry for the guy who was tricked" (with some disclaimer as to all violence is bad, but...)

Google Angie Zapata for a recent high-profile case where this stuff initially played out.

Leticia Green from Syracuse also. There was no sex involved - she and her brother were in a car talking to a friend. STILL the Internet sages HAD to assume she "tricked her a man" and "while violence is bad..."

It's particularly crappy that this happens from Trans women. The first person I read to blame Angie was some post-op chick offering advice to all those unfortunate girls with cocks.

[Bionca]

I have a new post up. It's a pretty basic primer on Trans stuff

http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/2009/10/25/cis-privelege-checklist/

[Bionca]

New Post up. Actually an older post that has been updated a little...

[The Conquistador]

These guys are on a list - no tranny-lovin' for joo!!!


I saw that!!! You distinctly said "Jew"

[Bionca]

New Post about a topic that near and dear to me:

http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/trans-day-of-rememberance/

[EdwardSinclair]

You have real talent, and a very important voice!! You have been granted a great power, you can influence the thoughts of many through your words, and you have reached many already and these people look up to you. You are transparent in your writing, there are no hidden reasons, only honesty, and sorrow that we can relate to. In those moments of sadness and doubt you lent great strength to others, with your words.

You have shed a light in many matters previously misunderstood, you are considerate of others, and have also shown great wisdom and intelligence at times beyond what was expected. You have the resources and skills to make a huge contribution to your community, you have demonstrated to possess the courage and determination of someone who wants more of this world.

It's your life, and it's up to you how to make use of this great talent of yours, but you must be made to realise about the great power you hold and how you can help many to benefit from it if you take the stand. Speak for those of us who can't, because we lack the words, or the strength and determination.

The violence against the trans community members is appalling, a person not being able to claim health insurance because he/she is a trans is appalling (being considered as having mental issues is way past insulting), not being able to donate blood because you are trans, the prejudice at school/work and in fact very much anywhere is appalling (but you know all this better than I do). Leaders have risen in the past to counter these social injustices (take the Suffragettes as an example for women, Martin Luther King Jr. as an example for black people). When you are treated unequally and you stand idly by you risk having more of these rights taken away from you.

Unification is strongly advised if you wish to solve these problems, as you need to put your own house in order before you can stand up to this continuing injustice. In going at it alone you risk being ridiculed and silenced before you can make any impact in society. You need to unite your voices, and make it one voice, so people are unable to ignore it, as it can be heard loud and clear everywhere and everyday!!

[Bionca]

Thanks Edward.

This is actually a little tough, since I actually do have reasons to write. I write because if trans women don't talk about our lives then other people get to define us. I also exist online in two very different worlds with very little overlap. My blog is a way to merge the two.

I'm honestly amazed and grateful when anyone likes what I write. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad folks enjoy/learn from/whatever the stuff I write, but I know so many trans women who are so so much better writers, thinkers, activists, poets, story-tellers than I am.

feh... accepting compliments is hard for me.. so thanks :)

[Bionca]

OK.. after a wee bit of prompting - I have a totally not trans anything post up on the blog. Video games this time... ah yes nerdly ole me.

[Bionca]

OK back to talking about trans stuff. I get to the meat of the subject and talk about gender, and what that means to me as a trans woman. Opinions always welcome, as this is just my working theory.

[Bionca]

Another Day Another Murder

19 y/o "man dressed like a woman" murdered on Nov 14 in Puerto Rico. Typical Trans Panic invoked.

[Bionca]

Latest post on the blog. I give this site a little love and the guys I talk about better know who they are *hugs*

The other stuff.. bunch of jerks.

[Bionca]

I promised Mr Grooby ... It's not a pretty tale

http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/2009/11/24/it-started-as-an-innocent-date/

[noshy]

looks good so far thx

[Bionca]

Well.. single again.. new post up about dating and stuff

[Bionca]

More rambling thoughts... about that most annoying of questions

[The Conquistador]

More rambling thoughts... about that most annoying of questions

Rambling huh? More like clear and pithy.:respect:

[ekber50]

Thank You. wonder:turnon::turnoff:

[Bionca]

Finally have a new post up. I've been in a little self-imposed hibernation. I ask an important (to me) question at the end.

http://bit.ly/4VaRkN

[smc]

Finally have a new post up. I've been in a little self-imposed hibernation. I ask an important (to me) question at the end.

http://bit.ly/4VaRkN

So glad you've "resurfaced," Bionca. I just read your blog post and added a few thoughts. :)

[local]

Finally have a new post up. I've been in a little self-imposed hibernation. I ask an important (to me) question at the end.

http://bit.ly/4VaRkN

Glad to see you coming out of hibernation as well. You bring a grounded perspective to this forum which is always refreshing and a great read.

[Bionca]

New Post:

More of the Same

http://bit.ly/cs53aT

[aw9725]

I?m very sorry to hear about Myra. Unfortunately, everything you said about the media, police, and cis people in your blog is true. The hatred and violence directed towards trans women is truly evil. One would like to think it is only a few individuals but then you read what the media and police have to say and you realize that the attitudes and ignorance run deep. Wish I could do more to stop it.

[Bionca]

I dusted things off and made a new post - it's an update of one of my more popular posts...

http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/2009/11/21/tdor-porn-and-a-pissed-t-girl/#more-168

[Bionca]

I have a new one! Actually, it's an old one..

http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/2010/12/29/new-year-old-post/

Talking about the things I miss since transition.

[smc]

I have a new one! Actually, it's an old one..

http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/2010/12/29/new-year-old-post/

Talking about the things I miss since transition.

Your new post is wonderfully bittersweet, Bionca. I'm glad you bumped the thread to let others here know about your blog. They could learn a thing or two reading your entries there, even at the price of tearing themselves away from looking at pictures for a brief while. ;)