Finding a shemale partner [Archive]

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Cadian122

03-11-2009, 07:44 AM

dennisGTS

03-11-2009, 11:17 AM

aa2239

03-15-2009, 03:22 PM

For what it's worth, I met my wife at a nightclub and we've been happily married for over 7 years (going on 8 in a couple months)! Although she's a GG, meeting someone special at a nightclub is possible. ;)

Possible but unlikely, in my opinion... you normally want to get to know what someone is like first, before going out/sleeping with them... a club is not the best place to do this. DennisGTS, i'm pretty sure you're the exception to the rule! But good on ya, you found someone to love and spend your life with, what more can you ask for :)

In response to the main question, that's a similar problem to the one I have in London.... you'd think that such a big city would have all the shemales you'd ever want, but so many of them over here are working girls, or can only be found in clubs, or are only interested in meeting "sugar daddies".... I wish I lived in Brazil lol. Dating websites have been the most productive way for me to meet shemales so far, I don't know if that would work for you?

Cadian122

03-16-2009, 04:36 AM

I've tried Dating sites, but the free ones are rather crap, and I can't afford the pay sites (I'm at Uni and spending upwards of $350aus on books)

Rachel

03-16-2009, 07:56 AM

I've tried Dating sites, but the free ones are rather crap, and I can't afford the pay sites (I'm at Uni and spending upwards of $350aus on books)

Have you tried Collarme.com? I know there are a lot of people down under on there.

darkstargemini

03-16-2009, 01:01 PM

> just going to a bar to get a tgirl girlfriend impossible unless all she want,s is a one nighter that won,t get u a tgirlfriend that way some places r very dangerous u don,t no what u will find or get maybe u should do some soul searching and think about it before u get into a bad situation u can,t get out of i think the only way just my opinion would be is to email her and get to no each other it takes time for trust and respect from anyone u can,t buy that just think about it as for your friends if the r true and sincer it shouldn,t really matter if they r not well it,s your call no one else can do that for u just don,t rush it that,s all best of luck:respect:

Cadian122

03-27-2009, 09:10 AM

I find also, I am a plasma (Blood) donor, and I don't want to go, "yeah, I'm screwing a t-girl" mainly beacuse I'm not sure weather I'd still be able to donate blood, mainly beacuse of quote: have you had male to male sex in the last x months? and I don't want to compromise what I see as a social responsibiltiy for a one nighter. :(

hankhavelock

03-27-2009, 02:30 PM

I've just broken up with my girlfriend (nothing to do with my shemale obsession), and she said I should find a Transexual gf, my problem is the only place in Adelaide, South Australia, I know where I can find T-girls is the Mars bar nightclub, and I'm too shy to go in there and try to find a T-girlfriend. Also, I'm not sure how I can have a lasting relationship with anyone I picked up from a nightclub and how all my mates would respond if I said "here's X she's my GF, and a T-girl" the words, leave town spring to mind.
Help me please.

Yes, I'll help you all I can, my man. First, you have to be honest to yourself. Second, you have to be honest to the world. Third, now go and find that chick that you TRULY want.

Screw what ppl say - trust me, if you come on proud and strong with your trans-girl, you'll be JUST fine. Sure, there may some sniggle behind your back, but a little back-sniggling from vanilla idiots is hardly cause enough for you to deny your nature?

Do it, mano! It's really not that hard!

Don't think - act! Be yourself and in the process find a nice little trans-girl who will SO be there for you. And remember, that most trans-prostitutes are not exactly selling their bodies, beacause they particularly like to... I've never met a girl who didn't have a dream of finding a nice, genuine guy who was honest and strong enuff to love her totally and for what she is. The dreams of trans-women are the same as cis-women. So you're in the safe.

Go get her, baby! And trust me, you will NOT regret making a bold move.

Peace!

H

racquel

03-28-2009, 03:45 AM

Also, I'm not sure how I can have a lasting relationship with anyone I picked up from a nightclub and how all my mates would respond if I said "here's X she's my GF, and a T-girl" the words, leave town spring to mind.

People online are much more creepy than the people you meet in clubs. People who have the guts to go out at least have a little bit of backbone and are at least sane enough to feign normal social interaction. Your excuses for not wanting to go out and your fear of what your friends would think really imply that you are not comfortable with your own sexuality and are not ready to date a t-girl.

I've tried Dating sites, but the free ones are rather crap, and I can't afford the pay sites (I'm at Uni and spending upwards of $350aus on books)

You want to date a t-girl, but you don't have enough money to join a dating site? I'm not saying you need to pay for everything every date, but if $30/mo for a website is out of your budget how do you expect to ever go out?

I find also, I am a plasma (Blood) donor, and I don't want to go, "yeah, I'm screwing a t-girl" mainly beacuse I'm not sure weather I'd still be able to donate blood, mainly beacuse of quote: have you had male to male sex in the last x months? and I don't want to compromise what I see as a social responsibiltiy for a one nighter. :(

Don't kid yourself. You're not donating; you're selling. You sell your plasma because it's an easy way to make a little cash, not because you think it's a social responsibility. Just admit that you'd definitely never tell anyone you were with a t-girl.

One nighter? What happened to you wanting a lasting relationship? Now the truth comes out that you just want to fuck a t-girl and you would never actually date one.

A lot of people are in the closet. It's hard to sweep a girl off her feet if you're obviously ashamed of her. Whatever, I can blame social pressures for that. But at least have some respect. What do you think t-girls are? Some lower form of life that will fuck your brains out if you only get the guts up to go to talk to one and get past your fear that they all have HIV?

Cadian122

03-28-2009, 09:38 AM

People online are much more creepy than the people you meet in clubs. People who have the guts to go out at least have a little bit of backbone and are at least sane enough to feign normal social interaction. Your excuses for not wanting to go out and your fear of what your friends would think really imply that you are not comfortable with your own sexuality and are not ready to date a t-girl.

You want to date a t-girl, but you don't have enough money to join a dating site? I'm not saying you need to pay for everything every date, but if $30/mo for a website is out of your budget how do you expect to ever go out?

Don't kid yourself. You're not donating; you're selling. You sell your plasma because it's an easy way to make a little cash, not because you think it's a social responsibility. Just admit that you'd definitely never tell anyone you were with a t-girl.

One nighter? What happened to you wanting a lasting relationship? Now the truth comes out that you just want to fuck a t-girl and you would never actually date one.

A lot of people are in the closet. It's hard to sweep a girl off her feet if you're obviously ashamed of her. Whatever, I can blame social pressures for that. But at least have some respect. What do you think t-girls are? Some lower form of life that will fuck your brains out if you only get the guts up to go to talk to one and get past your fear that they all have HIV?

No its not the fact I'm "Selling" blood, it is a voluntary donation, another is I am a University studemt with little to no cash, so I have to really plan my month/weeks before hand, I find that on the rare occasions I get a date, no matter how much I insist, the girl will go dutch with me. I don't want to just screw a T-Girl, otherwise I'd have gone to the Mars Bar a long time ago, I want a lasting relationship, my problem is I have all these other things that I have to consider, like my blood donations, If you haven't noticed about 1/3 of Victoria in Australia burnt down, and the red cross needs their blood donors, and I have been doing this COMPLETELY VOLUNTARY!!! thing for nearly 5 years, I don't get any money for it, I do it FOR FREE, or OUT OF A DESIRE TO HELP PEOPLE AND PUT BACK INTO MY COMMUNITY! So I have to consider that, mainly beacuse all of the T-Girls I meet only want one nighters, and I am turning them down because I want a lasting relationship, but I want some help finding them who want lasting relationships that is IN MY BUDGET!!! and I don't have a Credit card, because the band didn't approve one. We are not all as rich as you, I am only 21, doing a university degree, barely making ends meet with the hours I get at work, and finding one here in Adelaide is really hard, or haven't you heard of the GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS, or is that completely ignored where you're from.

Cadian122

03-28-2009, 09:40 AM

Mon dieu, ces personnes, pensent que cela parce qu'ils sont américains ils possèdent le monde entier.
Mein Gott, diese Leute, denken, dass der, weil sie amerikanisch sind, sie die ganze Welt besitzen.

racquel

03-29-2009, 03:36 PM

I don't want to just screw a T-Girl, otherwise I'd have gone to the Mars Bar a long time ago, I want a lasting relationship...

...all of the T-Girls I meet only want one nighters, and I am turning them down because I want a lasting relationship

Stop lying. You started off by saying how worried you were about what your friends would think if you were dating a TS girl, and then you added that you would be having one-nighters with TS girls if it weren't for your blood donations. Now you're totally changing your story.

I know many TS girls who would love to be in lasting relationships. You would not believe the kind of idiots that TS girls settle for because all they want is someone who loves them and isn't ashamed of them. I simply don't believe that all you can find is girls who want a one night stand.

I was at a bar last night with about 30 TS girls. There were only three guys hitting on girls there. One girl was pretty horny and went and fucked the guy in his car, and he just went straight home without even coming back inside. The other two actually seemed like very nice guys. But when we left that club to go to a more normal club (where they might actually see people they knew), neither of the guys were interested.

I live in the Midwest. Ohio has about 10% unemployment. I've been laid off since November. I'm getting very close to being evicted next month, and I don't know how I'll get the money to move. Businesses around here are extremely conservative. I'm a software engineer and am having trouble finding employment better than a low-paying night shift job in a warehouse where they don't have to worry about the public seeing me. My family are Born Agains that want nothing to do with me. You're not going to get any sympathy from me about the economy or society or how hard your life is.

(in French/German) My god, these people think that because they are Americans they have the whole world.

You would be embarrassed to be seen with a TS girl. You would be afraid of getting HIV from a TS girl. You're being totally ridiculous and saying TS girls just want one one-nighters. And now you're being totally condescending.

My being American has nothing to do with it (I'd much rather live in Aus or NZ or the UK). You're just an asshole.

Cadian122

03-31-2009, 03:45 AM

And you're a condescending bitch. My problem is I lack the tact to tell my mates about this and if I do it wrong I lose my mates who I have known for about 18 years. Also HIV doesn't come into it, I am confident that I practise safe sex to lower the risk of contracting it, and until you come to Adelaide and see for yourself, and prove me wrong, I'd be happy to, but the only ones I have come across, there might be more out there, I just haven't met them, but the ones I have met, have only wanted one nighters, there might be more out there and I haven't met them, and If you're not going to respond with anything constructive, I'd recommend just not posting a reply, because I would like some help based on my experiences and what I do and not have some puffed-up yank shitting on me, because guess what Australia is NOT America, there is about 20,000 km between the countries, and things are different. So just beacuse one thing is done in your country, Australia is different, Sydney and Melbourne are where most of the t-girls are, and they're harder to find in Adelaide.

racquel

03-31-2009, 01:44 PM

And you're a condescending bitch.

Thank you. Bitch is much more kind than the other things you've said about TS girls and Americans so far in this thread.

I don't have an agenda to attack you. My feeling is quite the opposite. It would be wonderful if you could someday make a TS girl happy. But the reality is that you don't appear any different from the average guy who likes shemale porn but would never really treat a TS girl like a woman.

All I'm saying is that you obviously have some insecurities about this, and you really need to deal with those issues before you consider any type of long-term relationship.

My problem is I lack the tact to tell my mates about this and if I do it wrong I lose my mates who I have known for about 18 years.

I'm not saying it's easy. But think about what you're saying. You want to date a TS girl. You say you want a real relationship. But you would be too embarrassed to tell your friends. Do you really think this is fair? How would you feel if you were dating a girl who didn't want to be seen with you -- a girl who could only see you at specific times because she was afraid of her friends knowing you existed? Being in the closet about your attraction doesn't make you a bad person, but attempting to date a girl who you know you'll be embarrassed of does.

Do you realize TS girls are human? Do you have any idea what it feels like for a guy to want to fuck you and tell you he loves you then be too ashamed to even go see a movie with you unless you go to another town? That is what these insecurities lead to, and it is very hurtful.

I apologize that I can't offer you any sympathy. I already lost all the family and friends I had for the first 18 years of my life.

Also HIV doesn't come into it, I am confident that I practise safe sex to lower the risk of contracting it,

Then why did you bring it up? Please tell us why you can't just keep your sexual partners to yourself like everyone else when you donate blood. How would dating a TS girl morally obligate you to check the "I fuck men" box when you donate? Is that what you think of pre-op girls? They're just men?

... because I would like some help based on my experiences and what I do and not have some puffed-up yank shitting on me, because guess what Australia is NOT America, there is about 20,000 km between the countries, and things are different. So just beacuse one thing is done in your country, Australia is different, Sydney and Melbourne are where most of the t-girls are, and they're harder to find in Adelaide.

So you're sticking to your story that all TS girls in Australia only want one-nighters? Then there are probably a lot of people who would like to visit so they can fuck all the shemales without having to pay escort fees.

I'm not saying Australia is like America, but you're obviously incorrect when you say Australian girls only want to fuck and they don't want relationships. Do you honestly expect anybody to believe that?

And again you're attacking my country. What is wrong with you? Most people know that 78% of Americans don't agree with anything our government does. Judging me based on where I live is childish. Maybe you'd have better luck with women if you weren't so anti-social. I never hear Americans saying bad things about Australia, and your country is so backwards that when Americans were landing on the moon in the '60s you had just decided to let Aboriginees vote (and stop stealing their children and locking them up in institutions). Go ahead and stop using The Internet and the GPS satellites that America invented if you hate us so much. I can understand you having a slight inferiority complex when the only contributions you've had to the world are Paul Hogan, Elle MacPherson, Steve Irwin, and the lovely idea of putting cheap wine in a cardboard box, but please just get over yourself. Nobody wants to date someone who always brings up politics at inappropriate times.

franalexes

03-31-2009, 02:29 PM

Ditto to the above.
Racquel:hug::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::respect :

smc

03-31-2009, 04:04 PM

My problem is I lack the tact to tell my mates about this and if I do it wrong I lose my mates who I have known for about 18 years.

I agree with most of what Racquel wrote (although Australia has contributed a bit more than she suggests, but I can certainly see why she picked the things she picked for her illustration). All in all, though, Bravo, Racquel!

But I just want to add, regarding this "problem" of what to tell your mates: let's say you find a tgurl, and you have deep feelings for her. It's not just about sex. Shouldn't your mates just accept it? And if they can't, then are they really mates worth such an investment of your psychic energy?

I am baffled by the fact that people bring these kinds of points up about their so-called friends. Is it just me, or have people forgotten how to use a dictionary. Look up what the word "friend" means. And while you're at it, look up what "unconditional" means in the context of being a true friend.

racquel

03-31-2009, 04:59 PM

smc-

I know, I was just kidding around... Australia has a lot more offer than Crocodile Dundee and the invention of box wine.

The whole idea of what makes someone a real friend ... It's complicated. I mean, I had so many good friends growing up. Everybody I ever met seemed to like me. I knew four different people who each considered me to be their best friend.

To make a long story short, all of these people now think I'm literally insane. They feel sorry for me and avoid me. Sometimes I think they're right. I don't think they went from being great friends to being evil people. It's unreasonable to think I'm right and everybody else is wrong. And maybe it's unreasonable to want a boyfriend who isn't afraid to be seen with me if my childhood best friends don't want to be seen with me. At least I've done society a favor by sterilizing myself.

I still feel like I'm the same person I always was. After awhile you start to wonder if it's possible to be loved without being understood, though. My former friends definitely don't understand me. Is the problem that the person my friends loved never actually existed? I've only changed on the outside.

People have trouble getting past their prejudices. I'm not sure if that makes them bad people or not. I mean, it's hard for me to convince myself that they were never "real" friends because they couldn't handle my transition. It's definitely depressing.

smc

03-31-2009, 05:19 PM

The whole idea of what makes someone a real friend ... It's complicated. I mean, I had so many good friends growing up. Everybody I ever met seemed to like me. I knew four different people who each considered me to be their best friend.

To make a long story short, all of these people now think I'm literally insane. They feel sorry for me and avoid me. Sometimes I think they're right. I don't think they went from being great friends to being evil people. It's unreasonable to think I'm right and everybody else is wrong. And maybe it's unreasonable to want a boyfriend who isn't afraid to be seen with me if my childhood best friends don't want to be seen with me.

Racquel, for what it's worth, I would be proud to be seen with you. And it is absolutely not unreasonable to want a boyfriend who isn't afraid to be seen with you. In fact, anyone who is afraid should be disqualified.

I was careful not to characterize any "ex"-friends or potential "ex"-mates as evil or bad people. My focus on what it means to be a "friend" is generic for a reason: a friend is a friend is a friend. The inability to maintain a friendship can be explained by all sorts of things, as you know and as you partially recount, but it doesn't make one a bad person. We all have a lot of things to get over: prejudices, conditioning, etc. And they can get in the way of us being friends. But it doesn't change what it means to be a friend.

I still feel like I'm the same person I always was. After awhile you start to wonder if it's possible to be loved without being understood, though. My former friends definitely don't understand me. Is the problem that the person my friends loved never actually existed? I've only changed on the outside.

People have trouble getting past their prejudices. I'm not sure if that makes them bad people or not. I mean, it's hard for me to convince myself that they were never "real" friends because they couldn't handle my transition. It's definitely depressing.

Don't forget that the problems your former friends, who were surely "real" friends, have with you now are their problems. Sure, it hurts, but whatever you do, you must not take ownership of their inability to handle your transition. They must own it, along with all the other hangups they carry around that keep them from you.

One other thing: you state that you've "only changed on the outside." I'm sure that's not really true. Isn't it the case that going through your transition brought you some inner peace that you didn't have before? That's surely a change on the inside, and I'm sure a positive one. :heart:

ila

03-31-2009, 05:21 PM

And you’re a condescending bitch. .......I'd recommend just not posting a reply, because I would like some help based on my experiences and what I do and not have some puffed-up yank shitting on me, because guess what Australia is NOT America, .......

.......and your country is so backwards that when Americans were landing on the moon in the '60s you had just decided to let Aboriginees vote (and stop stealing their children and locking them up in institutions). Go ahead and stop using The Internet and the GPS satellites that America invented if you hate us so much. I can understand you having a slight inferiority complex when the only contributions you've had to the world are Paul Hogan, Elle MacPherson, Steve Irwin, and the lovely idea of putting cheap wine in a cardboard box, but please just get over yourself. Nobody wants to date someone who always brings up politics at inappropriate times.

Enough of the sniping back and forth. It's possible to discuss this subject without resorting to name calling and denigrating other countries and people. Be civilized in your discourse.

Cadian122

04-01-2009, 08:58 AM

I can tell you some things Australia has not given this world:
8 Years of George W. Bush
an unwinnable wai in Iraq, alright were in it, but the PM is working on withdrawing troops.
A bloodbath in Vietnam, that achieved Nothing.

To my main point, however, with the blood donations, I sign a sheet, that asks me questions to determine wether I am fit and well enough to donate, it is a Legal document. If I sign it knowing I am giving false info, that is a big fine and a criminal record, and as much as I think that it is stupid that T-girls are classified as 'men' - the nurse I asked looked at me wierd for the rest of the day after I asked her about it, and the response was, Quote: "I'm not sure, I would assume so, because they are men." that quote is verbatim, I have not added anything, so if I am dating a t-girl, and sign it wrong, I get fined upwards of $500, which is about 3 weeks pay for me at the moment.

I should apologise to the Yanks, I am originally English and have american cousins. I have nothing against americans, except when I feel I am being put on trial, which certainly is happening here, and I suffer from Aspergers Syndrome, which (is Not a crutch) means I kinda suck with the whole dating and human contact stuff, and usually think someone is interested when they are not, and vice versa, so I know I am not perfect.

franalexes

04-01-2009, 09:21 AM

Here we get three chances to answer the active sex question. If you answer yes to having male to male sex, the blood donation is thrown out. No exception. It is just thrown out and no issue is made of it.
Even the surgeons here say," If you want safe blood transfusion; get it from known family members; not the blood bank."

racquel

04-01-2009, 09:43 AM

That's interesting. I have Gender Identity Disorder, Social Dysphoria, or Asperger Syndrome depending on who you ask. I do tend to hyper-focus, and when people are nice to me it's hard for me not to say inappropriate things because I'm too comfortable. But I'd much rather be friends with someone with those issues than someone who's bipolar or has Borderline Personality Disorder. Although I do have some bipolar friends who are fun to party with.

Vanillas

04-20-2009, 08:24 AM

Several months ago I watched a video featuring a group of transgender women involved in a production of "The Vagina Monologues." As I recall only the director was a genetic woman. Some of these women referred to themselves as pre-op and others stated that they had no intention of SRS. Two things struck me about the group as a whole. The first was the bonding that developed among them over their time together, from initial rehearsal to final production. They shared stories and experiences, some of which were inserted into the script, that served to break through much of the isolation and feelings of separateness they may have previously felt. The second was how "normal" their social and dating lives were. Perhaps I'm remembering this in contrast to my more recent exposure to this and similar sites. Still, I sensed that they were not limiting themselves to "tranny seekers," indeed, if they were involved with any at all. Rather, from the way they discussed how and when to disclose - to a new man in their lives - that they were transexuals, I got the distinct impression that they were fully involved in the real world.

Remembering this, I'm wondering about the role of serendipity in meeting an eligible transexual woman. Perhaps I am being too naive or too romantic here but, I feel there is a place for it. I'm beginning to believe that frantic and compulsive attempts to (ostensibly) meet T-women may well be counter-productive. In fact, I'm not so sure that they might not be a form of self-sabotage and a sure way NOT to meet such a woman - or ANY woman. I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better to go to places or events where T-women are likely to be (after all, sometimes even serendipity needs a little coaxing) but to relax and let go of expectations. Ask someone to dance but don't expect her to fry you eggs the next morning. After all, that is how it usually works in the world.

cheersm8

05-27-2009, 11:11 AM

A few years ago, I went through a phase of really wanting to date a ts and have a relationship, as opposed to a brief 'sexual fling for kicks'. I made my plan, followed it through and ended up having a bf/gf relationship with a wicked and wild ts from up north. Our relationship lasted around 3 months, then we split up without animosity, for no particular reason other than things had run their course, much like many relationships.
The girl in question has now had srs and is happily married which is way cool.
I had a great 3 months, all positive, with no misgivings or regrets. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that if you desire a relationship with a ts but have to complain that you 'can't find one' then your heart is not really in the goal.

twistseeker

06-04-2009, 10:26 AM

I think I am in love with Racquel, well I am at least a fan. I wish I were close enough to Ohio so I could meet you.

Throwing my support your way, I am with you, Racquel.

Take care,

Alex

megawatty101

06-04-2009, 12:00 PM

hankhavelock

06-05-2009, 02:55 PM

I have Gender Identity Disorder, Social Dysphoria, or Asperger Syndrome depending on who you ask...

You have absolutely NO disorders, dysphorias or otherwise hetero determined syndromes. You're just a completely normal and healthy and well-spoken transsexual woman.

H