When trans-women complain about being sexualized...

[hankhavelock]

When trans-women complain about being sexualized...

Let there be little doubt that many trans-women complain about the fact that men only want to have sex with them ? only very few men seem honestly interested in deep, meaningful relationships.

Hmmm ? I?m tempted to say: welcome to the reality of womanhood... you really should have considered that as a five-year-old, when you put on your sister?s dress and for the first time knew who you were, sweetheart... :-)

No, seriously and but, obviously, the story goes a little deeper than that.

Because in the end, men attracted to trans-women are fundamentally straight and normally go back to cisgender women due to a host of reasons. Fx societal pressure and not least a natural urge to multiply.

So, for a man attracted to trans-women it suddenly becomes quite complicated to do what he actually truly wants. Yes, a little fling somewhere in a Southeast Asian backstreet is one thing, but then ?mother just called...?

I?m not in any way suggesting that the troubles met by trans-oriented men can at all be compared to the massive and epic adversity that is the constant reality of trans-women (because we men can just hide which most do) ? but as we all know that most men are basically ?pussies? without spines I propose a theory: IF multiplying could be eased up a bit (by easier adoption/surrogate rules) and IF society could accept trans-reality just a little bit more, wouldn?t that be the first step?

Of course, those are ENORMOUS steps if we consider a typical American Midwesterner with an inbred IQ of 35 and ten Bibles as his hetero-modus-operandi.

Let me, however, use myself as an example. I have never, ever kept my sexual orientation a secret ? on the contrary I?ve forced peoples? heads deeply into it (friends, family, clients ? you name it) ? yes, indeed, many have said: Please, too much info, Hankyboy. To me it was never the proverbial ?walk of shame? but instead a deep feeling of honour, true belonging and appreciation of being liked by a transsexual woman ? we both held our heads up high in defiance of what is objectively wrong.

So back to my original point ? it all boils down to a general acceptance of transsexuality as something natural and even beautiful (accepting transsexuality as beautiful is, by the way, difficult for most Western transsexuals too... go figure). And that fight will most likely be fought by transsexuals while most of us trans-oriented men just stand in the back saying nothing ? afraid to be ?found out?. A luxury not granted the trans-women that most of us secretly adore and do not dare stand up for and beside...

I would like to hear opinions from other trans-oriented males.

1. What is it that keeps you closeted?
2. Do you really want a transsexual wife?

It?s time for us men to be men and speak UP for the women we so deeply adore! Or what?

Peace

H

[reynardthefox]

Because in the end, men attracted to trans-women are fundamentally straight and normally go back to cisgender women due to a host of reasons. Fx societal pressure and not least a natural urge to multiply.

Very good point, though I'm old enough that I have no desire to have kids. The fact that ladyboys can not have them is a huge part of their appeal to me.

1. What is it that keeps you closeted?

I wouldn't consider myself closeted. I have never even been with a transsexual and don't know if it's something I would like IRL, so I don't go out of my way to discuss my attraction for them. It would be like discussing a fetish fantasy publicly. Now, if I was in a happy and committed relationship with some drop-dead gorgeous trap, I honestly wouldn't give a fuck at all if everyone knew. In the meantime, from a libertarian standpoint I'm fully and openly supportive of the vast majority of issues concerning sexual tolerance, marriage, and related issues.

2. Do you really want a transsexual wife?

In a legal sense? No. I don't want to marry anyone, marriage is a terrible deal for men. In terms of being in love with someone and taking care of her and being committed to her on the deepest level? Yeah, definitely.

[franalexes]

[QUOTE=hankhavelock;A luxury not granted the trans-women that most of us secretly adore and do not dare stand up for and beside...

It?s time for us men to be men and speak UP for the women we so deeply adore! Or what?

Peace

H[/QUOTE]

Hank, you're a "keeper".;)

[smc]

Nothing keeps me "closeted." I share my attraction to transwomen openly, but I do not share it thoughtlessly -- by which I mean in circumstances when any discussion of sexual orientation is simply irrelevant or unimportant (e.g., standing in front of a classroom of students discussing syntactic structures of a language doesn't call for a such sharing of information). If the topic comes up, I do not flinch; I say what I find attractive and, if the conversation continues, I say why.

Over the course of many years, I have had the knowing many transpeople. Some of these acquaintances have become friendships, completely devoid of any sexual content. At my university, years ago, I was one of the people instrumental in securing the most progressive (at the time) set of rules of conduct protecting students and others from gender-oriented harassment and discrimination. To this day, some of the transpeople involved in that struggle have remained close friends.

Besides sexual flings, I have had genuine relationships with two transwomen. One of them lasted for a few years, but things completely unrelated to the fact that one person in the relationship is trans intervened to bring it to a close ... with good feelings toward each other still.

[hankhavelock]

Hmmm... well... closeted I have never been and never will be. To me it's an honour.

I've had almost nothing but trans-women as lovers for the past eight years and among my deepest friends - and I ain't going anywhere.

So to me it's been a blessing - I'm a gynemimetophile and proud to express that.

And I guess that's my point... let us as trans-oriented men be who we are and stand side by side with our women. They do all the tuff work and we just have to follow suit and not chicken out when they need us.

Loyalty is here enormously important.

And what do I mean by that?

I mean stand by her! Don't take the lb-69 route and talk of the "walk of shame". Be SO proud of her and show your pride publicly.

I do all the time - and I do it so forcefully that very few have the guts to go up against me - even if they consider me a freak.

In the end, she is fighting the main battle, so at least stand by her with your complete support and loyalty.

As I wrote on another forum:

The most wonderful and admirable aspect of transsexuality is that it comes from an understanding of one self - in spite of every one else. A true understanding.

Nobody but trans-women have such a healthy and sure definition of their gender-self. And I postulate that such an early understanding of gender also leads to easier adaptation and understanding of other more mundane understandings - and, indeed, even more complicated ones.

Trans-women realize their true being and fight the fight from a much earlier age - long before us cisgenders even begin to think...

A non-verified study suggests that trans-people generally have a higher IQ than average... I believe it!

My point is that this hetero-cisgender world has to start looking into the fact that oppressing trans-people is not only in the dis-interest of trans-people but certainly an unintelligent decision to leave the most likely highest intelligents out of the scientific race.

So... all power to the trannies (I couldn't help saying it)

That's my story and I'll stick to it!

Transsexuality is a BLESSING - let us not only respect it but cherish it totally!

[hankhavelock]

And loyalty is the issue!

[hankhavelock]

And what is loyalty then?

That is when you stand by her without any doubt - when you fight her fights, when you feel her pain and comfort her in her adversity, when you do all you can to celebrate her femininity - and above all when you plain and simply love her as the gorgeous woman she is!

And when you feel SO proud about her - and yourself!

Then - and only then - are you man enough for a real woman - and that by my logic is a trans-woman.

Peace

H